One day Bob went to the seaside, he was a big girl and didn't want to go in the water so his big brother, Nigel pushed him in, he was then eaten by a Dogfish. Nigel laughed. After the funeral they all went to the pub where their mum and dad, Sue and Clive, killed Nigel with a claw hammer and a bottle of vinegar. They disposed of his body in the woods close to the motorway.
When they got home, their other son, Gerald was eating the dog with a salad and chips. It was a Labrador. They were quite upset, but when they found out it tasted like chicken they decided to have some too. All of a sudden the door burst open and Bob walked in, covered in seaweed, he was not very happy and extremely hungry, so he helped eat the dog. They all felt guilty about Nigel except Bob who had nothing to do with it, but thought Nigel had deserved it.
After Nigel's funeral, they family (without the dog) went to Lanzarote. Bob was a bit different after his accident and his family were quite worried, people started disappearing from the resort and Bob became more aloof. The police questioned Bob, but did not find anything.
It all came to a head the next day when they found 30 dead bodies. Just as they found the bodies, Bob started singing 'Thriller' so all the zombies got up and had a dance, which was nice.
At that time in Canada, a young girl called Ermintrude was riding her bike when she was hit by a hippo which had escaped from the local prison where he was on charges of extortion after taking large sums of nuts from the Colobus monkeys at the zoo. The monkeys are currently still battling through the supreme court for compensation.
The hippo didn't give her a second glance. Ermintrude's skull had been split open by the hippo, she was not happy and she died and then turned into a vampire.